A billionaire phoenix, a berserker in a long coat, and a rebellious brownie walk into a jazz bar…

I wish I was joking.

My shapeshifting attacker may be gone, but the bastards who gave the order are alive and kicking. They’re not the only ones after a chunk of my perky, cupid butt. The Nepos Bureau of Crime are digging around and asking questions that really aren’t good for my lifespan.

I’ve never had more incentive to leave Nepos, yet Vera Calzane has agreed to meet me for reasons unknown. If there’s even a tiny chance she’ll agree to unmake the curse—if romance, sex, and love can be returned to me after three disastrous years—then I have to stay.

But now the smoking-hot Detective Vincori is making unusual proposals, and the poltergeist mafia is sending me letters. A mind-shattering event leaves me tangled in bedsheets, and then there’s a drunk unicorn who… actually… you know what? You can discover that shituation for yourself.

The long and short of this? When it comes to the heart, Venus doesn’t care that my life is a freakin’ shambles. So this gal needs an espresso martini. Better make it two.